Being human

I feel like I learned something about being a christian this year. 

I thought I had special privileges... like being happier, being more blessed, being able to do the right things, being able to communicate with God, having a deity look over me all the time....

But then... all humans have that. 

The thing is that Christians have the responsibility to follow in Jesus' steps to make the world better. And Jesus was radical. It's hard to follow him because it means not doing normal stuff that everyone does.....

It's not about getting all sorts of perks like peace and joy... it's about bringing it to everyone.

Being a humanitarian outcast.. so weird...

randomly thinking of random things

Ties are totally random. They make no sense but everyone wears them. I wonder how a noose became fashionable.

Diamonds are the worse random thing. Some guy decides that this rock is valuable, makes people pay a million dollars for one, and now everyone wants one. What?!

I guess the king and queen of some countries are kind of random too. They don't have any power or special duties. They are just born into it. Just like that - and your face is printed on one hundred dollar bills all over the country. I wonder what that would feel like.

catch me if you can

i watched the movie Catch me if You Can and it got me thinking, what if the whole story was made up? If the guy Frank lied about being a doctor, pilot and lawyer, surely he could also lie about being a con man?

But if the whole story was a lie, it means that he didn't lie about being a doctor/pilot/lawyer, and that means he is not a good liar. What? I am confusing myself.

Maybe what I am trying to say is that, if someone is a good liar, and later he tells you his lies, his lies may also be lies? How do you know he is not lying about being a liar?

Thankful for one thing

If I had to be thankful for one thing, it would be that I am somehow, in general, a happy person.

Even when I get frustrated or angry or sad sometimes, deep down I know I will be feeling okay the next day.

I can't explain why.

 It's not like I have lots of friends or am really successful or have lots of interesting hobbies or go on adventures all the time.

It's not like I've done some kind of happiness analysis or trained myself to be positive or toughened up through bad times.

That's why I can only say that it is something I am most thankful for.

mid autumn festival

Mid Autumn festival is supposed to be about 嫦娥, 長生不老藥, secret notes in moon cakes, rabbits on the moon and some logger who keeps trying to cut down a tree on the moon... but I can't ever remember how the stories go and if all those stories are even related!? It's like those mish mash of greek legends that I can't ever get straight.

Anyways for some reason I really like mid autumn festival. You get to stay up late, stare in wonder at the sky, play with fire, hang lights up. Those are all things I like. I like xmas and xmas lights too - but xmas is more formal, and there's stress with the whole family and xmas presents and stuff. Xmas is red wine at the dinner table but mid autumn is beer and flip flops.

Yesterday I went to the rooftop with Daiyee and the moon was out to welcome us. It's a nice feeling being on the 20th floor, looking up at the sky and down at the tiny people on the streets. The kids next door played with their glow in the dark thingies, and we drank our cokes and beers. The dad came up and was playing pokemon go and the mom was hula hooping. We hung out for a while and it was nice.

Stars in your multitudes

Star photos taken in Namibia.

Stars are really crazy!!

personalities

There are so many different kinds of people
with different personalities -
Bossy, loud, the dramatic kind
Calm, collected mastermind.

But how should I be categorized?
I think one night to myself.
I'm the kind that's obsessed-
with doing personality tests.

Un-depressing yourself

If you are depressed, you just need to exaggerate your depression/situation so much that it becomes ridiculous and then hilarious. The more you exaggerate, the funnier it becomes. The funnier it is, the less depressing it becomes.

I wonder if psychologists know about this method that I've discovered, and if they would suggest it to their patients.

Namibia trip part 4

I never really realized how strange animals really are. 

A super skinny, long legged horse, with a long neck, floppy upper lip, swishy eyelashes and two baby stubs on its head? That's a giraffe! Also elephants' trunks are so flexible and quick...They can probably type, or knit, or do surgery with those trunks! And zebras' stripes just accentuate the two halves of their really round butts. They're like black and white watermelons.

Animals have a pretty harsh social structure too. The males have to leave their families and keep trying to dominate the other guys. If they are too laid back or just a normal non-aggressive dude, they never win the fights and have to hang out in the bachelor herd. (which they are not proud of)

The females don't have to fight, but they need to share one male with a whole lot of other females. And since everybody looks alike, you're probably just "one of those girls" for the rest of your life.

I guess it is hard enough looking for food and being hunted every day. Animals don't have time for politics, taxes, getting ahead in life, retirement, self actualization and stuff like that.

 tripod giraffe

 

mongoose

The striped butt club

Namibia trip part 3

Our guide (Shakapira is his name) told us the story of how he looked death in the eye. He and a bunch of french people found themselves face to face with a mother lion. They couldn't turn around, run or move for two hours, or else the lion would pounce and eat them up. To stay alive, the only thing they could do was to look into the eyes of the lion. For two hours. With a look of fake confidence.

After two hours, the lion finally gave up and left. The french people were so scared, they immediately bought plane tickets to leave Botswana.

How crazy was that! I have new respect for people who know so much about animals, nature, tracks, poop, plants. Most people I know, know stuff about politics, finance, iphones, gadgets, movies.

The other guide saw (by the flick of its mane) a zebra, 200 meters away, behind a bunch of trees, while driving a boat along a swampy river. Eagles eyes. I can hardly see the big white number of the bus coming straight at me 10 meters away. I am missing out on a lot of extra seeing that I could be doing...

Here's him and us standing in front of a termite mound.

Practice staring at a lion:

Namibia trip part 2

Sometimes Namibia is surreal. Weird piles of rocks and lots of interesting dead trees. The rocks and dead trees are like abstract sculptures you see in art museums. The sunrises and sunsets are crazy. You can't miss them because they happen right in front of your face like you are sitting in the middle of a movie theater. 

It is interesting that there is a part of the world that is so different from where I am living right now. They both exist in the same world at the same time. But it could almost be another universe from another time.

Nimibia trip part 1

Namibia means "the huge emptiness". You get to Namibia and you see a straight horizontal line parallel to the ground. Above that line is solid blue and below it is solid brown. There's nothing there except sand, rocks and wind. You will be amazed and scared at the same time. You realize that if left alone, after one day you will also be horizontal (dead). And then you will become one with that solid brown part. 

Misunderstood

People think that I went on the Nimibia trip with mom and dad because I wanted to be a good daughter and keep them company.

But I went just because I wanted to go to Nimibia.

I was misunderstood for being a better person than I was. It is a confusing to be thought of as a good person and to be misunderstood at the same time.

I guess I would rather be understood as a not so nice person than to be misunderstood as a nicer than you really are person.

Sympathy

Sympathy is a confusing idea.
I try hard to understand what it feels like to be in someone else's shoes but I never really do.
I try to show sympathy but it is superficial. I only do it because it's the right thing to do.
The worst feeling is faking sympathy... Can anyone sympathise with me?

Funeral

A funeral is no party

Although it contains the word fun

If I had to throw a funeral...

I'd throw it out the window

Rapper

A rapper 

Isn't a gangster

He's a poet

And doesn't know it

Painter

I can't believe we finally finished painting this mural!!! It took 3.5 days... The hardest part was climbing up and down the ladder and reaching far to paint because the wall was slanted....

I feel like we did a pretty good job. Although the colours didn't turn out exactly as planned. It was hard but fun. 

I've always had a weird dream to become a painter of signs, so I guess I actually did it!

sunset in mongkok

i love all the signs

golden arches versus golden sunset

street lights- the manmade kind and the natural kind

the painted lines versus the lines of light

If you google sunsets it's usually going to be sunsets at beaches or over lakes or the sun behind hills or something like that. But I discovered that sunsets in the city are much more interesting. I went to pick up my business cards today. People were hurrying home and waiting to cross streets. the sunlight hit me in the eye. I followed the sunset around Mong Kok... between buildings and through alleys.. it's hard to tell where it comes from.. but eventually the sun set and i went home.. it's fun to live in the city.

Chinese New Year holiday

Maybe it was a conversation i had with Lynette. I feel like friends aren't forever. They come and go, just because that's the way life is. Some move. Some don't like you any more. Some have kids. Some work all the time. It's kind of sad... But it's also beautiful because for a moment in your life you crossed paths.

Lynette says she doesn't have friends. Well I don't have a lot either. And they are all weird.

Anyway yesterday we all went to the wetland park and saw mudskippers and non existent butterflies and all kinds of birds. We rolled around on the grass and pointed at trees and turtles and the sky. Typical city people.

Maybe it's just me but i get all emotional thinking one day i might forget all this. So i should write it down. I think it's because after popo died, i keep thinking that everybody might die soon. Kind of creepy but it's true right?

Parallel universe

Here on earth

We mourn for our loss and pain

While in a parallel universe 

Angels celebrate 

for their gain

Compassion

You say, a world of compassion, 

And I think of rainbows and unicorns

And kittens and new borns

Then you say, the meaning of compassion is, suffering with.

I wonder what kind of myth that is.

Nephews

First I had one nephew

And then I had two.

Few years later,

I had another, 

who knew?

Soon there'll be a whole crew

of nephews, old and new.

When will it all stop?

Just one niece

will do.

today

My grandma died today
My head hurt like hell.
I know I'll see her one day
in heaven where all is well.

When we meet again

I'll give her a great big hug

She won't recognize me

Because I'll be ninety three.