Saturday, September 24, 2016

Thankful for one thing

If I had to be thankful for one thing, it would be that I am somehow, in general, a happy person.

Even when I get frustrated or angry or sad sometimes, deep down I know I will be feeling okay the next day.

I can't explain why.

 It's not like I have lots of friends or am really successful or have lots of interesting hobbies or go on adventures all the time.

It's not like I've done some kind of happiness analysis or trained myself to be positive or toughened up through bad times.

That's why I can only say that it is something I am most thankful for.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

mid autumn festival

Mid Autumn festival is supposed to be about 嫦娥, 長生不老藥, secret notes in moon cakes, rabbits on the moon and some logger who keeps trying to cut down a tree on the moon... but I can't ever remember how the stories go and if all those stories are even related!? It's like those mish mash of greek legends that I can't ever get straight.

Anyways for some reason I really like mid autumn festival. You get to stay up late, stare in wonder at the sky, play with fire, hang lights up. Those are all things I like. I like xmas and xmas lights too - but xmas is more formal, and there's stress with the whole family and xmas presents and stuff. Xmas is red wine at the dinner table but mid autumn is beer and flip flops.

Yesterday I went to the rooftop with Daiyee and the moon was out to welcome us. It's a nice feeling being on the 20th floor, looking up at the sky and down at the tiny people on the streets. The kids next door played with their glow in the dark thingies, and we drank our cokes and beers. The dad came up and was playing pokemon go and the mom was hula hooping. We hung out for a while and it was nice.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Stars in your multitudes

Star photos taken in Namibia.
Stars are really crazy!!


There are so many different kinds of people
with different personalities -
Bossy, loud, the dramatic kind
Calm, collected mastermind.

But how should I be categorized?
I think one night to myself.
I'm the kind that's obsessed-
with doing personality tests.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Un-depressing yourself

If you are depressed, you just need to exaggerate your depression/situation so much that it becomes ridiculous and then hilarious. The more you exaggerate, the funnier it becomes. The funnier it is, the less depressing it becomes.

I wonder if psychologists know about this method that I've discovered, and if they would suggest it to their patients.

Namibia trip part 4

I never really realized how strange animals really are. 

A super skinny, long legged horse, with a long neck, floppy upper lip, swishy eyelashes and two baby stubs on its head? That's a giraffe! Also elephants' trunks are so flexible and quick...They can probably type, or knit, or do surgery with those trunks! And zebras' stripes just accentuate the two halves of their really round butts. They're like black and white watermelons.

Animals have a pretty harsh social structure too. The males have to leave their families and keep trying to dominate the other guys. If they are too laid back or just a normal non-aggressive dude, they never win the fights and have to hang out in the bachelor herd. (which they are not proud of)

The females don't have to fight, but they need to share one male with a whole lot of other females. And since everybody looks alike, you're probably just "one of those girls" for the rest of your life.

I guess it is hard enough looking for food and being hunted every day. Animals don't have time for politics, taxes, getting ahead in life, retirement, self actualization and stuff like that.

 tripod giraffe
The striped butt club

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Namibia trip part 3

Our guide (Shakapira is his name) told us the story of how he looked death in the eye. He and a bunch of french people found themselves face to face with a mother lion. They couldn't turn around, run or move for two hours, or else the lion would pounce and eat them up. To stay alive, the only thing they could do was to look into the eyes of the lion. For two hours. With a look of fake confidence.

After two hours, the lion finally gave up and left. The french people were so scared, they immediately bought plane tickets to leave Botswana.

How crazy was that! I have new respect for people who know so much about animals, nature, tracks, poop, plants. Most people I know, know stuff about politics, finance, iphones, gadgets, movies.

The other guide saw (by the flick of its mane) a zebra, 200 meters away, behind a bunch of trees, while driving a boat along a swampy river. Eagles eyes. I can hardly see the big white number of the bus coming straight at me 10 meters away. I am missing out on a lot of extra seeing that I could be doing...

Here's him and us standing in front of a termite mound.
Practice staring at a lion:

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Namibia trip part 2

Sometimes Namibia is surreal. Weird piles of rocks and lots of interesting dead trees. The rocks and dead trees are like abstract sculptures you see in art museums. The sunrises and sunsets are crazy. You can't miss them because they happen right in front of your face like you are sitting in the middle of a movie theater. 

It is interesting that there is a part of the world that is so different from where I am living right now. They both exist in the same world at the same time. But it could almost be another universe from another time.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Nimibia trip part 1

Namibia means "the huge emptiness". You get to Namibia and you see a straight horizontal line parallel to the ground. Above that line is solid blue and below it is solid brown. There's nothing there except sand, rocks and wind. You will be amazed and scared at the same time. You realize that if left alone, after one day you will also be horizontal (dead). And then you will become one with that solid brown part. 

Friday, September 2, 2016


People think that I went on the Nimibia trip with mom and dad because I wanted to be a good daughter and keep them company.

But I went just because I wanted to go to Nimibia.

I was misunderstood for being a better person than I was. It is a confusing to be thought of as a good person and to be misunderstood at the same time.

I guess I would rather be understood as a not so nice person than to be misunderstood as a nicer than you really are person.


Sympathy is a confusing idea.
I try hard to understand what it feels like to be in someone else's shoes but I never really do.
I try to show sympathy but it is superficial. I only do it because it's the right thing to do.
The worst feeling is faking sympathy... Can anyone sympathise with me?